Wind Chimes Are Also Earthquake Chimes.

When I Stub My Toe It's Like I Pressed A Button That Plays All The Curse Words I Know.

If You Are Trying To Impress A Woman, Leave Any Sort Of Show Farting Out Of The Equation.

I Don't Have To Kill Myself, Time Is Going To Do That.

Vampires Probably Don't Have Great Breath.

Having A Beard Is A Good Way To Make Your Face More Susceptible To Velcro.