Why Should I Cook For My Husband?

I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed; Last Night I Tried To Hang Myself - But The Rope Broke.

My Sex Life Is So Bad, My G-spot Has Been Declared A Historical Landmark.

My Body Is Dropping So Fast, My Gynecologist Wears A Hard Hat.

There Are Many Self-help Books By Ph.d.s, But I Hold A Different Degree: An I.b.t.i.a.-i've Been Through It All. This Degree Comes Not On Parchment But Gauze, And It Entitles Me To Tell You That There Is A Way To Get Through Any Misfortune.

I Have No Sex Appeal And It Has Screwed Me Up For Life; My Gynecologist Examines Me By Telephone.