When You Leave New York You Ain't

You See, The Mets Are Losers, Just Like Nearly Everybody Else In Life. This Is The Team For The Cab Driver Who Gets Held Up And The Guy Who Loses Out On A Promotion Because He Didn't Maneuver Himself To Lunch With The Boss Enough. It Is The Team For Every Guy Who Has To Get Out Of Bed In The Morning And Go To Work For Short Money On A Job He Does Not Like. The Yankees? Who Does Well Enough To Root For Them, Laurence Rockefeller?

Those Of Manhattan Are The Brokers On Wall Street And They Talk Of People Who Went To The Same Colleges; Those From Queens Are Margin Clerks In The Back Offices And They Speak Of Friends Who Live In The Same Neighborhood.

Politics: Where Fat, Bald, Disagreeable Men, Unable To Be Candidates Themselves, Teach A President How To Act On A Public Stage.

I Became A Copy Boy. Not For Long. I Started Writing Stories.

The Office Of President Is A Bastardized Thing, Half Royalty And Half Democracy That Nobody Knows Whether To Genuflect Or Spit.