When You Have Children Your House Smells

British Ferries Have Stopped Transporting Live Animals To The Continent. This Has Made It Very Difficult For England Fans To Get To Away Matches.

An Overweight Guy Went To The Doctor Who Advised Him To Try A Keep Fit Dvd. But The Guy Said He Couldn't Be Bothered. “well” Suggested The Doctor, “try Something That Leaves You A Little Short Of Breath.” So The Buy Took Up Smoking.

There Are Two Types Of People In This World: One Who Opens A Packet Of Biscuits, Has One And Puts The Rest Back In The Cupboard, And One Who Eats The Whole Packet In One Go.

There Have Been Some Very Extreme Hecklers In Audiences Whose Bile Was So Hateful And So Meant That It Would Be A Bit Frightening To Think That All I'm Doing Is Jokes And Yet Someone Hates Me That Much.

I Went On The Pill When I Was 16, Put On Four Stone... So That Proved To Be A Very Effective Contraceptive.