When You Have A Fat Friend There

Villains Fear Me Because I Am Unpredictable And Broccoli. See What I Mean?

If I Think Of A Joke That's Really Dirty And I Think It's Funny I'll Try It But What I've Found Over The Years Is They Just Don't Laugh. It Doesn't Work Coming Out Of My Mouth So It's Like They Taught Me 'don't Do That. Don't Go That Way Or You'll Lose Me.'

Coffee Is Like A Bra. 3 Cups Is One Too Many.

Relationships, Like Eyebrows, Are Better When There Is Space Between Them.

The Comedians I Liked Were Bill Cosby And Steven Wright, Like Just Always As A Comedic Actor. I Always Liked Gary Larson, Who's Really Funny For A Cartoonist, Obviously.