Nothing Wise Was Ever Printed Upon An

A Lot Of People Like Lollipops. I Don't Like Lollipops. To Me, A Lollipop Is Hard Candy Plus Garbage. I Don't Need A Handle. Just Give Me The Candy.

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

Whenever I Investigate A Smell, I Find That The Answer Is Always Bad. It's Never: 'what Is That? *sniff* Muffins!'

I Was Watching Mtv And There Were Girls Dancing In Suspended Cages. That Would Be An Ambivalent Situation: "i'm Trapped! ...but Enjoying The Music".

Man Versus Woman Equals Fun. Man Versus Man Equals Gay. Woman Versus Woman Equals Awesome. Man Versus Pillow Equals Crazy. Pillow Versus Pillow Equals Crazy Awesome - That's A Real Pillow Fight Right There. You See Two Pillows Fighting, You Know Something's Going Down. They're Designed For Relaxation. If They're Fighting, What Hope Do We Have? One Time I Saw Two Geese Fighting, And I Was Like, 'this Is A Pillow Fight Ahead Of Time.