Nothing Wise Was Ever Printed Upon An

Tic Tacs Are The Maracas Of Breath Mints.

When People Show Me Pictures Of Their Kids, It's Okay. But When I Give Them A Picture Of Me, To Show To Their Kids, I'm Weird. What Kind Of One Way Street Is That?

When You're Wearing An Animal Costume And Something Bad Happens, Your Facial Expression Doesn't Change. The Animal Is Deadpan The Whole Time. If You're Skiing In A Gorilla Suit And You Fall, You Just See A Gorilla Who Has No Emotion. It's Just A Stoic Gorilla, Wildly Falling Down A Hill, Out Of Control.

Do You Have Any Greek In You? That Was Just A Tactful Way Of Asking If You're Pregnant. If You're Not, Then Let's Break Up.

A Car Alarm Is A Way For A Car To Tell Everyone That Its Owner Is An Asshole.