When You Get To A Certain Age,

That Seaman Is A Handsome Young Man But He Spends Too Much Time Looking In His Mirror Rather Than At The Ball. You Can't Keep Goal With Hair Like That.

Anybody Who Can Do Anything In Leicester But Make A Jumper Has Got To Be A Genius.

Beckham? His Wife Can't Sing And His Barber Can't Cut Hair.

Being Thick Isn't An Affliction If You're A Footballer, Because Your Brains Need To Be In Your Feet. And Beckham Works Hard, He's Brave And He Crosses A Ball Superbly. He Treats A Football Like He Does A Wife, Lovingly, With Caresses.

Resignations Are For Prime Ministers And Those Caught With Their Trousers Down, Not For Me.