When You Are Waiting For The Bus

I Was Brought Up As A Catholic. I've Got A-level Guilt.

Don't Buy One Of Those Baby Intercoms. Babies Pretend To Be Dead. They're Bastards, And They Do It On Purpose.

When I Was 12, We Went From Glasgow To Aberdeen On A School Trip. It Was Called Fresh Air Fortnight.

For Me, It's About The Desire To Win. My Audience Becomes A Crowd Of Wild Animals And I Have To Be The Lion-tamer Or Be Eaten.

I Don't Like The Beach. I Think We Have No Business At The Beach At All, As A Species. We Don't Belong In The Sea. The Sea Is Full Of Things That Bite Us, Sting Us, Hurt The Soles Of Our Feet, And It's Extremely Cold. When Are We Gonna Take The Hint That The Things That Live In The Sea Don't Like Us?