When I Get Up In The Morning,

My Brother Is The Youngest Member Of The College Of Physicians And Surgeons. And I Wouldn't Let Him Cut My Nails.

Banks Have A New Image. Now You Have 'a Friend,' Your Friendly Banker. If The Banks Are So Friendly, How Come They Chain Down The Pens?

When I Was In The Hospital They Gave Me Apple Juice Every Morning, Even After I Told Them I Didn't Like It. I Had To Get Even. One Morning, I Poured The Apple Juice Into The Specimen Tube. The Nurse Held It Up And Said, 'it's A Little Cloudy.' I Took The Tube From Her And Said, 'let Me Run It Through Again,' And Drank It. The Nurse Fainted.

You Do Live Longer With Bran, But You Spend The Last Fifteen Years On The Toilet.

If You Stop And Think About It, Nearly All Great Humor Is At The Expense Of Someone Or Something.