Whatever You Do, You're Going To Be

When Turkeys Mate They Think Of Swans.

Everybody I Meet In Public Seems To Want To Audition For Me. If I Ask A Guy What Time It Is, He'll Sing It To Me.

Entertainment Is Like Any Other Major Industry; It's Cold, Big Business. The Business End Wants To Know One Thing: Can You Do The Job? If You Can, You're In, You're Made; If You Can't, You're Out.

The Closest Thing To Roseanne Barr's Singing The National Anthem Was My Cat Being Neutered.

There Was This Billy Goat At A Movie Studio Who Found And Ate A Can Of Film. When A Nanny Asked Him How He Liked It, He Said, "it Was All Right But I Liked The Book Better."