What Do Japanese Jews Love To Eat?

I Was Talking To Jesus, And I Said, Jesus, I Feel Like No One Will Ever Accept Me. And Jesus Looked At Me And Said, You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.

I'd Make Jack Benny Look Like A Philanthropist.

I Was The Class Podiatrist. I Never Made It To Class Clown. I Wasn't Funny Enough. I Would Examine Feet And Prescribe And Ointment. It Was A Sad Childhood.

The 'phoenix Sun' Did A List Of The Unsexiest Men In The World, And I Made It To Number One. I Beat Out Bin Laden. He's A Terrorist, Hasn't Bathed In Months. I Beat Him Out. To Me It Was A Great Honor.

One Thing I Can Take Credit For, Along With The Rest Of Show Business, Is When The Red Ribbons Were Out, We Cured Aids. Any Advancements That Came Towards Fighting Aids Were Not Done By Scientists Or Doctors - It Was People With Little Ribbons On Their Lapels.