We're More Effective Than Birth Control Pills.

If Life Was Fair, Elvis Would Be Alive And All The Impersonators Would Be Dead.

The Closest Thing To Roseanne Barr's Singing The National Anthem Was My Cat Being Neutered.

I Would Like To Say, For The Record, That I Am In Favor Of Using More American Indians And Other Minorities In Motion Pictures, I Am Against Polluting The Oceans Of The World, I Am For Every Nationality Having Its Own Homeland, I Am Against Whacking Baby Seals On The Head, And I Am For Saving The Whales.

Having Money Gives Me The Freedom To Worry About The Things That Really Matter.

When Turkeys Mate They Think Of Swans.