Went To The Paper Shop - It

I Inherited A Painting And A Violin Which Turned Out To Be A Rembrandt And A Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt Made Lousy Violins And Stradivarius Was A Terrible Painter.

And The Back Of His Anorak Was Leaping Up And Down, And People Were Chucking Money To Him. I Said 'do You Earn A Living Doing That?' He Said 'yes, This My Livelihood.'

'doc, I Can't Stop Singing The Green Green Grass Of Home. 'that Sounds Like Tom Jones Syndrome'. 'is It Common?' 'it's Not Unusual.'

I Always Sit In The Tail End Of A Plane, Always. You Never Hear Of An Plane Backing Into A Mountain.

I Went To The Dentist. He Said "say Aaah." I Said "why?" He Said "my Dog's Died."