Went To The Corner Shop - Bought

My Wife Had A Go At Me Last Night. She Said, Youll Drive Me To My Grave. I Had The Car Out In Thirty Seconds.

I Went Into A French Restaraunt And Asked The Waiter, 'have You Got Frog's Legs?' He Said, 'yes,' So I Said, 'well Hop Into The Kitchen And Get Me A Cheese Sandwich.'

So I Went To The Chinese Restaurant And This Duck Came Up To Me With A Red Rose And Says "your Eyes Sparkle Like Diamonds". I Said "waiter, I Asked For A-romatic Duck".

Well, My Wife And I Were Married In A Toilet - It Was A Marriage Of Convenience!

I Cleaned The Attic With The Wife The Other Day. Now I Can't Get The Cobwebs Out Of Her Hair.