We All Hope For Breakthrough Rebirth Moments.

If You Live Far Away From A Person You No Longer Want To Date Just Let Them Know That They Are Geographically Undesirable.

I Do Try To Keep My Show Very Improvisational. I Don't Work Off A Set List; I Like To Keep It More In The Moment. I Like To Have Information About Where I'm Going, What Might Be Happening In That Particular Region As Well. I Like For People To Feel Like The Show Is For Them.

I Don't Hate Anyone. I Simply Block Them Out Using Hellish Visions In A Blind White Rage. But If I See Them Out I'm Pleasant.

I'm Quitting The Business Today. I'm Going To Open Up An Appliance Store, I've Always Really Been Into Toasters. I'm Giving It All Up.

Every Time You Come In From Cheating On Someone, They'll Just Whip Out The Most Adorable Term Of Endearment. Like, They'll Wake Up, Bright And Early, Sleep In Their Eyes And Say: "hey, Perfect."