I Never Leave A Dog Alone In

You Know You're Lazy When You Run Out Of Toilet Paper And Use The Cardboard Roll To Wipe With.

Why Do Bad Guys In Movies Always Love To Whistle Really Slowly?

I Feel Like I Was Born And Bred To Stay Self-motivated. I'm Not One Of Those People Who Ho-hums And Feels Sorry For Himself When Something's Bad.

Nice Teeth Is A Turn On For Me. If You Open Your Mouth And It Looks Like A Battle Of Epic Proportions, I Don't Like It.

You Know Your Girls Up To No Good When Her And Her Friends Make A Pact To Post Nothing On Instagram.