Unless Your Kid Is Pele Jr., They're

I Found That If I Offered To Cook For A Girl, My Odds Improved Radically Over Simply Asking A Girl Out. Through My Efforts To Attract The Opposite Sex, I Found That Not Only Did Cooking Work, But That It Was Actually Fun.

I Would Have Bacteria And, Yeah, It Would Grow In What We Call The Danger Zone, Which Is Typically Between 40 And 140. But If I'm Getting Something Out Of My Refrigerator Where It's Been Basically Pretty Clean And I'm Putting It On My Counter, What Exactly Is Going To Happen In That Amount Of Time That Going Into A Hot Oven Isn't Going To Kill? Nothing.

If My Wife Made Childhood Obesity Her Mission And I Signed A Law Making 1/8 Cup Of Tomato Paste A Vegetable, I'd Be Sleeping On The Sofa.

Gluttony Is Wrong. It's Wasteful.

The Stubby French Painter Toulouse-lautrec Supposedly Invented Chocolate Mousse - I Find That Rather Hard To Believe, But There You Have It.