Two Things Help To Keep One's Job.

Success Is When Your Name Is In Everything But The Telephone Directory.

A Man Commented To His Lunch Companion: My Wife Had A Funny Dream Last Night. She Dreamed She'd Married A Millionaire. You're Lucky, Sighed The Companion. My Wife Dreams That In The Daytime.

A Man Can Please His Wife With A Box Of Candy, Surprise Her With A Bouquet Of Flowers, And Make Her Suspicious With A Gold Bracelet.

Half Of All Home Accidents Happen In The Kitchen, And The Family Has To Eat Them.

When You Finally Go Back To Your Old Home, You Find It Wasn't The Old Home You Missed But Your Childhood.