Two Irishmen Were Passing A Pub -

A Traffic Policeman Stops Sister Bridget For Speeding. She Pulls Into The Side Of The Road And Winds Down Her Window. The Officer Walks Round And Starts Undoing His Fly. "oh Dear," She Says, "not The Breathalyser Again."

A Man Up In Front Of A Judge Says "i Don't Recognise This Court." "why Not?" "it's Been Redecorated Since The Last Time I Was Here."

America Has Only 100 Senators For 309 Million People, But Stormont Has 108 Members For 1.7 Million.

I Asked A Shop Owner If He Could Help Me Out. He Said: "what Way Did You Come In?"

I Have A Pacemaker In, But It Doesn't Work Very Well, Because Every Time I Fart The Garage Door Opens.