I Have A Pacemaker In, But It

It's Never Occurred To Me To Worry About My Health, Or That I'll Get Old, Or That People Will Stop Laughing At Me.

This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten, Sober.

An Irishman's Wife Gave Birth To Twins. Her Husband Wanted To Know Who The Other Man Was.

I Gave My Wife A Kiss This Morning. She Jumped Out Of Bed And Did A Lap Of Honour.

A Man Goes Into Boots And Says: "have You Got Any Viagra?" "do You Have A Prescription?" Asks The Chemist. "no," He Replies, "but 'i've Got A Photograph Of The Wife."