To Remove Blood Stains From Your Conscience

The Chances Of Someone Who Looks Like Jesus Having Pot Raises Steadily, To A Point. If The Guy Is On A Cross You May Have The Wrong Guy.

Americans Who Do Not Celebrate Independence Day: Pets.

It's Weird To Make A Decision Where Everyone In Your Life Disapproves, Pretty Vocally And Directly. They Said, "you've Got One Year Left. Just Do It." I Had A Full Scholarship So I Didn't Have To Pay For It. They Asked, "why Don't You Just Get The Degree So You Can Have It?" And I Said, "you Don't Understand. I Was Trying To Figure Out What I Wanted To Do And Now I Know. I Have The Answer And It's Dumb To Waste Any More Time."

A Car Alarm Is A Way For A Car To Tell Everyone That Its Owner Is An Asshole.

I Can Move Objects With My Mind, If I Use My Hands.