Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's House

You Can't Trust Water: Even A Straight Stick Turns Crooked In It.

We Frequently Hear Of People Dying From Too Much Drinking. That This Happens Is A Matter Of Record. But The Blame Is Always Placed On Whisky. Why This Should Be I Never Could Understand. You Can Die From Drinking Too Much Of Anything - Coffee, Water, Milk, Soft Drinks And All Such Stuff As That. And So As Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing. I Will Make Mine Whisky.

I Didn't Squawk About The Steak, Dear. I Merely Said I Didn't See That Old Horse That Used To Be Tethered Outside Here.

My Illness Is Due To My Doctor's Insistence That I Drink Milk, A Whitish Fluid They Force Down Helpless Babies.

Comedy Is Merely Tragedy Happening To Someone Else.