This Is L.a. You Wanna Learn Spanish?

My Wife Gave Me A Book Before We Got Married, Oh, The Places You'll Go!, By Dr. Seuss. She Was Trying To Tell Me Something, About What I Was Capable Of, But I Didn't Get It. Over Time, I've Sort Of Lived The Message In That Book, And I Couldn't Have Without What Golf Taught Me. So I Put It In My Bag While I Played The Old Course, And On The Last Hole When I Posed On The Swilcan Bridge, I Held It Up.

You Know How Mexican Restaurants Always Have "border" In The Name: Border Grill, Border Cafe. You Wouldn't Do That To Black People: Kunta's Kitchen Or Shackles. They Don't Do It To White People. You Don't See The Honkey Grill, The Cracker Barrel... Oh, Nevermind.

We're Mexi-cans Not Mexi-can'ts.

80% Of The Women Who Were Asked If They Fake Orgasms Said Yes. Actually, They Said Yes! Oh God, Yes!

The Average Late-night Viewer Is In Their Mid-50s And The Average Viewer Of Tbs Is In Their 30s And Is Largely African-american And Hispanic, Already, Before I Even Get There.