This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten,

My Wife Went Into The Butchers And Said: "you've A Sheep's Head In Your Window." The Butcher Said: "that's A Mirror."

A Traffic Policeman Stops Sister Bridget For Speeding. She Pulls Into The Side Of The Road And Winds Down Her Window. The Officer Walks Round And Starts Undoing His Fly. "oh Dear," She Says, "not The Breathalyser Again."

I Was Going Up To The Bathroom And A Woman Asked Me: "have You A Good Memory For Faces?" I Asked Why And She Said: "because There Isn't A Mirror Up There."

A Man Walks Into A Hospital Feeling Unwell And The Doctor Says: "sorry, You've Only Got Three Minutes To Live." The Man Said: "can You Do Something For Me?" "yes," He Said. "i'll Boil You An Egg."

The Irish Six Million Dollar Man Only Cost Three Quid.