My Father Fought In World War I

The Irish Six Million Dollar Man Only Cost Three Quid.

An Irishman's Wife Gave Birth To Twins. Her Husband Wanted To Know Who The Other Man Was.

I Said To The Waitress, "there's A Fly Swimming In My Soup." She Said: "you've Got Too Much Soup - He Should Only Be Able To Paddle."

This Is Frank Carson, News At Ten, Sober.

I Was In The Far East And I Went Into A Restaurant And I Ordered Octopus And The Waiter Said: "it Takes Four Hours." I Asked Why And He Said: "it Keeps Turning Off The Gas."