They Say You Only Go Around Once,

I'm Actually More Of A Cat Guy Than A Dog Person Because I Travel So Much. I Love Cats.

I Look At It This Way: How Much Of The Day Are You Awake? You Think, "i've Gotta Get That Dry Cleaning, I Gotta Get This Going, And This, And This, And This." And All Of A Sudden It's Dinnertime. And Then There's A Moment Of Connection With Your Spouse Or Your Friends. Then You Read And Go To Bed. Wake Up And Then It's The Same All Over. You're Not Awake, You're Not Living, You're Not Experiencing. We Start Early Medicating Ourselves. We Start Kids Early, On Tv And Video Games And So On.

To Get A Man's Attention, Just Stand In Front Of The Tv And Don't Move. He'll Talk To You. I Promise.

When I Went To Jail, Reality Hit So Hard That It Took My Breath Away, Took My Stance Away, Took My Strength Away. I Was There Buck Naked, Humiliated, Sitting In My Own Crap And Urine - This Is A Metaphor. My Ego Had Run Off. Your Ego Is The Biggest Coward.

I Think There's A Percentage [of The Audience] That Don't Realize, That Don't Know That [standup] Is How Everything Began. We Planned It, We Work Hard, Rehearsals To Get This. It's More Of A ... It's Not Just Coming In There In A T-shirt And Holding A Microphone.