They Say Hot Dogs Can Kill You.

The Boston Globe Is Reporting That Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry Used To Date Actress Morgan Fairchild But It Didn't Work Out. Apparently She Couldn't Handle Dating Someone With Bigger Hair Then She Had.

Authorities In New York City Have Foiled A Plot By Terrorists To Blow Up The Holland Tunnel. There Was One Awkward Moment When Officials Informed President Bush The Holland Tunnel Was Safe. Bush Then Thanked The Dutch Authorities For All Their Help.

President Bush's Campaign Is Now Attacking John Kerry For Throwing Away Some Of His Medals To Protest The Vietnam War. Bush Did Not Have Any Medals To Throw Away, But In His Defense He Did Have All His Services Records Thrown Out.

I Think Donald Trump And Jeb Bush Are The Frontrunners. It's Kind Of Like The Race Between The Tortoise And The Bad Hair.

Hillary Clinton Is Getting A Little Bit Of Controversy Because She Has The Most Expensive Hometown Office Rent - Over $500,000 A Year. She's In A One-year Lease In The Office, As Opposed To Her Marriage, Which Is On A Month-to-month.