There's Something Very Refreshing About Being On

There's Something Very Refreshing About Being On Stage.

Get A Good Dog. We Have Not Picked Up Food In The Kitchen In 15 Years.

When People Talk About Wanting To Have Children Someday, What They Really Mean Is That They Want Babies. Nobody Wants An Angry Adolescent. Nobody Wants An Obnoxious Seven-year-old Trying To Wear Out Dirty Words They Just Learned In School That Day. What They Really Want Is Cute, Adorable Babies Who Love You And Need You. The Bad Stuff Is Just The Price You Agree To Pay For Having The Good Stuff.

I Can't Get Past The Fact That Food Is Coming Out Of My Wife's Breasts. What Was Once Essentially An Entertainment Center Has Now Become A Juice Bar.

Middle Names Are Kind Of Like Vice Presidents: It's A Fine Distinction And Certainly An Honor, But You're Never Not Aware That Someone Else Got The Real Job.