My Parenting Style Could Be Described As

My Wife And I Never Agree On The Dishtowels. It's A Matter Of Terms. She Asks Me Not To Put The Dishtowel In The Sink. So I Drape It Over The Sink, But Not In The Sink. If That's Our Biggest Problem, I Think We're In Good Shape.

The Most Used Appliance In Our House Is My 10-year-old Son Leon's Xbox.

People Often Ask Me, "what's The Difference Between Couplehood And Babyhood?" In A Word? Moisture. Everything In My Life Is Now More Moist. Between Your Spittle, Your Diapers, Your Spit-up And Drool, You Got Your Baby Food, Your Wipes, Your Formula, Your Leaky Bottles, Sweaty Baby Backs, And Numerous Other Untraceable Sources-all Creating An Ever-present Moistness In My Life, Which Heretofore Was Mainly Dry.

When My Son Said, "i Can't Stop Thinking About Girls," I Said, "that's Not Gonna Stop. Congratulations. You're In The Club. From Now Until The Day You Die, One Way Or Another You'll Be Thinking About Girls.

I Can't Get Past The Fact That Food Is Coming Out Of My Wife's Breasts. What Was Once Essentially An Entertainment Center Has Now Become A Juice Bar.