There's No One, No One, Loves You

There's No Bad Publicity Except An Obituary.

The Bible Was A Consolation To A Fellow Alone In The Old Cell. The Lovely Thin Paper With A Bit Of Matress Stuffing In It, If You Could Get A Match, Was As Good A Smoke As I Ever Tasted.

A Pedestrian Ought To Be Legally Allowed To Toss At Least One Hand Grenade At A Motorist Every Day.

I Think Weddings Are Sadder Than Funerals, Because They Remind You Of Your Own Wedding. You Can't Be Reminded Of Your Own Funeral Because It Hasn't Happened. But Weddings Always Make Me Cry.

When I'm Talking To People I Like To Stop And Quote Myself. My Quotes Have A Way Of Spicing Up Conversation.