There's No One, No One, Loves You

I Think Weddings Are Sadder Than Funerals, Because They Remind You Of Your Own Wedding. You Can't Be Reminded Of Your Own Funeral Because It Hasn't Happened. But Weddings Always Make Me Cry.

Nothing Hurts More Than The Friendly Letter That One Never Got Around To Writing.

I Am A Drinker With Writing Problems.

There's No Bad Publicity Except An Obituary.

I Only Take A Drink On Two Occasions - When I'm Thirsty And When I'm Not.