There Is No Reason To Confuse Television

[on George W. Bush:] How Is It Possible That The President Is Off On Vacation And The Vice President Is, Too? Not That It Matters That Much If The President Is On Vacation; On Some Level, The President Is Always On Vacation.

Sometimes I Believe That Some People Are Better At Love Than Others, And Sometimes I Believe That Everyone Is Faking It.

Here Are Some Questions I Am Constantly Noodling Over: Do You Splurge Or Do You Hoard? Do You Live Every Day As If It's Your Last, Or Do You Save Your Money On The Chance You'll Live Twenty More Years? Is Life Too Short, Or Is It Going To Be Too Long? Do You Work As Hard As You Can, Or Do You Slow Down To Smell The Roses? And Where Do Carbohydrates Fit Into All This? Are We Really All Going To Spend Our Last Years Avoiding Bread, Especially Now That Bread In American Is So Unbelievable Delicious? And What About Chocolate?

One Of The Few Advantages To Not Being Beautiful Is That One Usually Gets Better-looking As One Gets Older. I Am, In Fact, At This Very Moment Gaining My Looks.

Having Been Married So Many Times, I Know That One Of The Few Things I Am An Expert In Is Falling In Love.