There Have Always Been Mixed Emotions About

As A Child My Family's Menu Consisted Of Two Choices: Take It Or Leave It.

My Wife Said To Me, "i Want To Be Cremated." I Said, "how About Tuesday?"

You Want To Know What Makes Me Tick, I'll Tell You What Makes Me Tick. I Was A Boy Growing Up In Brooklyn; I Read A Two-penny Magazine Called 'the Hawk's Nest.' Nobody Entered That Nest That Didn't Leave A Little Richer And A Little Wiser. And That 11-year-old Boy Said, 'isn't That A Wonderful Thing.' And That's All There Is To It.

A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm Tangent To The Circle.

Golf Is More Fun Than Walking Naked In A Strange Place, But Not Much.