A Comedian Sees The World Bent. I'm

When I Do An Hour-and-a-half Show, If I Don't Improvise 20 Minutes Worth Of New Material Each Night, I Feel I've Let Myself Down.

I Have The Gift Of Laughter. I Can Make People Laugh At Will. In Good Times And In Bad. And That I Don't Question. It Was A Gift From God.

Golf Is More Fun Than Walking Naked In A Strange Place, But Not Much.

I Found Out That If You Made People Laugh, They Like You. Most People Got To Like Me Because I Made Them Laugh. When They Didn't, I Hit Them.

Don't Carry A Grudge. While You're Carrying The Grudge, The Other Guys's Out There Dancing.