There Are People That Are Vegetarians That

Whenever I'm Out Of Town For At Least A Week, I Feel Like I Should Write A Postcard Or Something, But You Can Be A Genius, You Try And Write A Postcard You Come Across Like A Moron Anyway: 'this City's Got Big Buildings. I Like Food. Bye.'

Do You Ever Leave A Message For Somebody And The Answering Machine Cuts You Off, And You Have To Decide Whether You Should Not Call Back, Or Call Back And Appear Like A Stalker? "hi. It's Me Again. I Forgot To Tell You That I'm Going To Kill You. Because I'm The Freak Who Keeps Calling And Calling."

How Dumb Do I Think The Americans Are? I Bet You We Could Sell Those Idiots Water.

Most Single Guys I Know Think Fatherhood Is Terrifying.

Babies And Toddlers Are Mostly What I've Been Exposed To At This Point. I'm Hoping Parenting Just Gets Much Easier After This. It Does, Right?