I Just Want To Be Known As

You Ever Look For The Remote Control, But You Can't Find It, So You Just Decide, "ah, Guess I'm Not Watching Tv. I'm Not Gonna Take Two Steps And Turn It On Myself. I'll Go To The Gym If I'm Going To Work Out."

Hey, People Who Travel With Their Bed Pillow. You Look Insane.

Whenever You Go Out To Eat You Gotta Get The Appetizer. 'cause The Appetizer's Just An Excuse For An Extra Meal. You're Always Like "lets See, I Will Start With The 80 Buffalo Wings...and Do You Have A Low-cal Blue Cheese? 'cause I Don't Wanna Fill Up Too Much."

Comedians Rarely Have Writers, And If You Do It's Usually A Sign Of Laziness.

My Kids Are Always Awake. It's They're Taking Shifts. 'alright, I'll Annoy 'em From Midnight To . Who Wants To ?'