I Don't Know, I Find That Honestly,

I Saw This College Team Bowling Championship. Each Team Had Their Own Coach. What Kind Of Strategy Advice Is A Bowling Coach Giving? "you Know What? This Time Timmy, I Want You To Knock Down All The Pins." "you Sure?" "trust Me. Just Do It Son!"

I'm A Weirdo That Goes On Stage To Make Strangers Laugh, But If I Wasn't Working, I Would Just Want To Be With My Wife And Kids. I Don't Even Think I'd Want To Go Out To Dinner.

I Watch A Lot Of Tv, I Drink A Lot Of Coffee, But You Know What's Really Addictive? Heroin.

I Know That Colbert Could Quote Thomas Aquinas And All This, But I'm Somebody Who, Because It's A Necessity For Me On A Personal Basis. I Need It Because I'm A Lunatic.

Now Don't Get Me Wrong, I Love Animals, But I Like Eatin' 'em More... Fun To Pet, Better To Chew.