My Goal In Life Is To Be

My Comedy Is Romanticized Laziness.

Besides Hot Pockets Keeps Introducing New Products Every 10 Minutes So I Always Have New Stuff On The Topic.

I'd Really Like To Promote My Increasing Consumption Of Bacon.

I Don't Know About You, But When They First Introduced Bottled Water, I Thought It Was So Funny, I Was Like "bottled Water! Haha, They're Selling Bottled Water! ... I Guess I'll Try It. Ah, This Is Good, This Is More Watery Than Water. Yeah, This Has Got A Water Kick To It."

Oh. What If We Eat A Lot With People That Annoy The Hell Out Of Us?