There Are Many Comedians Who Are Afraid

Ever Notice That Soup For One Is Eight Aisles Away From Party Mix?

I Am Thankful I Was Born In America, Although If I Gain Any More Weight The Burqa Thing May Start To Seem Like A Good Idea To Me. See? Another Plus About America, You Can Always Find Some Food.

Turkeys Know Their Names, Come When You Call, And Are Totally Affectionate. They're Better Than Teenagers.

There's Only One Difference Between Jews And Catholics. Jews Are Born With Guilt, And Catholics Have To Go To School To Learn It.

People Are Giving Birth Underwater Now. They Say It's Less Traumatic For The Baby Because It's Under Water. But It's Certainly More Traumatic For The Other People In The Pool.