The Witty Woman Is A Tragic Figure

The Copyeditor I Drew Was A Brachycephalic, Web-footed Cretin Who Should Have Been In An Institution Learning How To Make Brooms.

It's The Government's Job To Print The Money, Deliver The Mail And Declare War. Now Give Me My Cigarettes.

The Nice Thing About Southerners Is The Way We Enjoy Our Neuroses.

Any Hope That America Would Finally Grow Up Vanished With The Rise Of Fundamentalist Christianity. Fundamentalism, With Its Born-again Regression, Its Pink-and-gold Concept Of Heaven, Its Literal-mindedness, Its Rambunctious Good Cheer... Its Anti-intellectualism... Its Puerile Hymns... And Its Faith-healing... Are Made To Order For King Kid America.

The Confidence And Security Of A People Can Be Measured By Their Attitude Toward Laxatives. At The High Noon Of The British Sun, Soldiers In Far-flung Outposts Of The Empire Doctored Themselves With "a Spoonful O' Gunpowder In A Cuppa 'ot Tea." Purveyors And Users Of Harsh Laxatives Were Not Afraid Of Being Thought Mean And Unfriendly Just Because Their Laxatives Were. But In America, The Need To Be Nice Is So Consuming That Nobody Would Dare Take A Laxative That Makes You Run Up The Stairs Two At A Time, Pushing Others Aside And Yelling, "get Out Of The Way!