The True Meaning Of Christmas Is Actually

My Girlfriend Was Just Killed In A Car Accident. Devastating. I Can't Believe I'm Only Going To Have Sex With Her One More Time.

My Ultimate Goal Is To Do Whatever I Want, Whenever I Want To Do It. And That Keeps Changing. I Didn't Want To Host My Own Show Until I Wrote For Someone Else's.

Valentine's Day Was Created By The Greeting Card Industry To Get Pussy.

I Can't Talk Politics With My Cousin Because He's Such A Hypocrite. He's Against The Death Penalty And He Hanged Himself.

The True Meaning Of Christmas Is Actually Centuries Of Gullibility.