The Terrorist Is The One With The

I Have Never Seen A Situation So Dismal That A Policeman Couldn't Make It Worse.

I Was Court-martialled In My Absence, And Sentenced To Death In My Absence, So I Said They Could Shoot Me In My Absence.

I'm A Drinker With A Writing Problem.

I Think Weddings Are Sadder Than Funerals, Because They Remind You Of Your Own Wedding. You Can't Be Reminded Of Your Own Funeral Because It Hasn't Happened. But Weddings Always Make Me Cry.

I Am A Daylight Atheist.