I Am A Drinker With Writing Problems.

It Is A Good Deed To Forget A Poor Joke

The Terrorist Is The One With The Small Bomb.

There Is No Human Situation So Miserable That It Cannot Be Made Worse By The Presence Of A Policeman.

I Think Weddings Are Sadder Than Funerals, Because They Remind You Of Your Own Wedding. You Can't Be Reminded Of Your Own Funeral Because It Hasn't Happened. But Weddings Always Make Me Cry.

Shakespeare Said Pretty Well Everything And What He Left Out, James Joyce, With A Judge From Meself, Put In.