The Sofa Is The Enemy Of Productivity.

I Went To Law School. I Found It Interesting For The First Three Weeks.

Sometimes, When Something Really Great Happens To Me, I Like To Wait Two Weeks Before I Tell Anyone About It, Because I Like To Use The Word 'fortnight'.

I Like Fruit Baskets Because It Gives You The Ability To Mail Someone A Piece Of Fruit Without Appearing Insane. Like, If Someone Just Mailed You An Apple You'd Be Like, 'huh? What The Hell Is This?' But If It's In A Fruit Basket You're Like, 'this Is Nice!'

A Dreamcatcher Works, If Your Dream Is To Be Gay.

My Favorite Fruit Is Grapes. Because With Grapes, You Always Get Another Chance. 'cause, You Know, If You Have A Crappy Apple Or A Peach, You're Stuck With That Crappy Piece Of Fruit. But If You Have A Crappy Grape, No Problem - Just Move On To The Next. 'grapes: The Fruit Of Hope.'