The Sicker You Get, The Harder It

Do You Remember Barbara Bush? I Call Her The Silver Douchebag.

I Think There's A Little More Attention To Human Needs Than To Property Rights. But I Don't Think Much Of Political Activism. It's So Shortsighted. Most People Are Interested In Their Own Personal Comfort. I've Said That About Environmentalists. I Think They Care About Bike Paths And Places To Park Their Volvos, Not The Planet As An Abstraction.

In Some Hotels They Give You A Little Sewing Kit. You Know What I Do? I Sew The Towels Together. One Time I Sewed A Button On A Lampshade. I Like To Leave A Mark.

The Word Bipartisan Usually Means Some Larger-than-usual Deception Is Being Carried Out.

If God Had Intended Us Not To Masturbate, He Would Have Made Our Arms Shorter.