The Secret Is To Have A Sense

I Smell Varmint Poontang. And The Only Good Varmint Poontang Is Dead Varmint Poontang, I Think.

But I Can Only Take So Much Tv, Because There Is So Much Advice. I Find People Will Preach About Virtually Anything - Your Diet, How To Live Your Life, How To Improve Your Golf. The Lot. I Have Always Had A Thing Against The Mister Know-it-alls.

The Atheists Traditionally Hold Their Conventions From Good Friday To Easter Sunday During The Hours Christ Spent In The Grave.

I Was At The New York Film Critics Circle Awards One Year - They Called Me Up When Somebody Canceled Two Days Before The Thing, And Asked Me To Present Some Awards. So I Went, And One Of The Funniest Film Moments I've Ever Had Was When They Introduced The New York Film Critics. They All Stood Up - Motley Isn't The Word For That Group. Everybody Had Some Sort Of Vision Problem, Some Sort Of Damage - I Had To Bury Myself In My Napkin.

I'm Not An Alcoholic, I Only Drink Two Times A Year. When It's My Birthday, And When It's Not My Birthday.