The Problem With My Balloon Collection Is

The Best Way To Make Somebody Feel Important Is To Try To Assassinate Them.

I Was Watching Mtv And There Were Girls Dancing In Suspended Cages. That Would Be An Ambivalent Situation: "i'm Trapped! ...but Enjoying The Music".

It's Weird The Way "finger Puppet" Sounds Okay As A Noun... Ladies.

I Think Cats Would Have An Even Worse Attitude If They Found Out How Stupid Their Names Were.

I Like Fruit Baskets Because It Gives You The Ability To Mail Someone A Piece Of Fruit Without Appearing Insane. Like, If Someone Just Mailed You An Apple You'd Be Like, 'huh? What The Hell Is This?' But If It's In A Fruit Basket You're Like, 'this Is Nice!'