The Greatest Thing About Being A Comedian

You Know You're Getting Old When You Get That One Candle On The Cake. It's Like, 'see If You Can Blow This Out.'

Why Would You Want To Work For A Living If You Could Just Joke Around? Being A Celebrity Expands Your Commercial Possibilities.

Pain Is Usually Represented By Lightning Attacking The Guy. Glowing Redness Is Also Popular. Sometimes Parts Of The Guy Would Just Burst Into Flames.

To Me A Lawyer Is Basically The Person That Knows The Rules Of The Country. We're All Throwing The Dice, Playing The Game, Moving Our Pieces Around The Board, But If There's A Problem, The Lawyer Is The Only Person That Has Actually Read The Inside Of The Top Of The Box.

Fatherhood Makes You Cute. Women Find Bumbling Fathers Cute And Attractive.