The First Time I See A Jogger

I Love Gay And Lesbian Parents. But I Think We Need A Law That Says Lesbians And Gay Men Have To Raise Their Children Together. This Way, The Kids Would Not Only Know How To Build Bookshelves, But They'd Also Instinctively Know How To Decorate Them.

What I Love About Jewelry Is You Can Change It For Something Else Without Surgery.

I Want To Be Buried In A Valentino Gown And I Want Harry Winston To Make Me A Toe Tag.

Before We Make Love My Husband Takes A Pain Killer. I Blame My Mother For My Poor Sex Life. All She Told Me Was, 'the Man Goes On Top And The Woman Underneath'. For Three Years My Husband And I Slept On Bunk Beds. I'm A Double Bagger. Not Only Does My Husband Put A Bag Over My Face When We're Making Love, But He Also Puts A Bag Over His Head In Case Mine Falls Off. It's So Long Since I've Had Sex, I've Forgotten Who Ties Up Whom. My Best Birth Control Now Is To Leave The Lights On.

Don't Tell Your Kids You Had An Easy Birth Or They Won't Respect You. For Years I Used To Wake Up My Daughter And Say, 'melissa You Ripped Me To Shreds. Now Go Back To Sleep.'.