The First Time I See A Jogger

Anyone That Says Looks Don't Count Is Lying. Of Course They Do. Even Babies Go To The Attractive Face. It's The Way Humans Work.

I Hate Thin People; 'oh, Does The Tampon Make Me Look Fat?'

My Love Life Is Like A Piece Of Swiss Cheese; Most Of It's Missing, And What's There Stinks.

[on Plastic Surgery:] My Motto Is: 'anything That Can Be Lifted Should Be Lifted. Anything That Falls Should Be Caught. And Try To Catch Any Falling Stuff Before It Hits The Ground.

One Of The Most Rebellious Things A Woman Can Do Is Allow People To Think She’s Mean.