The Fact Is That You Can't Have

I Made The Mistake Early In My Career, When I Moved To Hollywood, Of Being Attracted To Actresses. I Used To Go Out Exclusively With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

A Yuppie Is Someone Who Believes It's Courageous To Eat In A Restaurant That Hasn't Been Reviewed Yet.

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

When Obama Ran, He Said, We Can Change The World! The World: Can You Change It Back?!

Television Is Never More False Than When It's Openly Sincere.