The Economy Is In Trouble, Schools Are

There Is No Such Thing As Too Much Fun. People Need To Know It Is O.k. To Tell Jokes And Be Happy.

I Moved From Cleveland To L.a. With A Girlfriend, We Broke Up, And I Lived Out Of My Car For A Year And A Half, On The Road With Nothing On My Mind But Getting My Act Good Enough To Be On 'the Tonight Show.'

There's A Game Called Checkout Where There's Grocery Items And It's How Much You Think The Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price Is And We Add Up Your Total, Then Your Total Has To Be Within $2 Of The Regular Total. I Don't Think I Could Ever Win That Game.

I Can't Do That. I'm Already The Single Guy Living In His Parents' House. I Can't Be Seen Digging A Grave In The Middle Of The Night.

I Just Try To Get People To Laugh - I'm Not Trying To Change The World Or Anything.